Saturday, May 23, 2020
What would happen if you were blind to your weakness
What would happen if you were blind to your weakness I have a disorder called prosopagnosia, more commonly called face blindness. It means that I have a hard time seeing faces. It took me about a month to know what each of my babies looked like. I remember thinking how its a miracle that the human race survived when it is so difficult to remember what your baby looks like. And it took me three months of dating my husband before I could imagine what he looked like when I wasnt with him. In the beginning, each time we had another date, I would think, I sure hope Im attracted to him. I think I am. I was the last time. When I played professional volleyball, I knew if I was playing someone with a tough serve, or a hard cut shot. I recognized opponents during a match. But away from the beach, many times I didnt recognize those same players. They were always surprised. And I always said, I dont recognize you with clothes on. What I meant was, I keep track of people by how their bodies move, and its easiest for me if you are wearing a bikini. I thought everyone kept track this way. I thought I was just stating the obvious. I thought I was normal. But now that I know its a deficit, I spend a lot of time thinking about it. I play games with myself can I recall someone one minute later? One hour later? Can I recall someone I had two lunches with? It used to be incredible to me that anyone remembered a face. Now its incredible to me that I have walked around with this disorder my whole life and not known. Today, I read a lot about catering to our strengths. The research instructs us to focus on using our natural strengths and not worry about our weaknesses. Its tough advice to follow, though. Because once we know our weaknesses, they become a source of embarrassment and we want to fix them. A weakness, after all, is a potential vulnerability, and we feel like we will appear stronger if we make sure to hide our weaknesses. Its one reason why people are shocked when I blog about getting fired, or not being able to contain my own jealousy. But to me, its a relief to show the weakness because then I dont need to spend energy hiding it. And the faceblindness is such a good example of how to ignore a weakness. I am very in tune with bodiesI can identify people by how they walk and how they carry themselves. I never stopped to think about how weird I am in the world because I cant remember facesbecause I didnt know. Instead, all those years, I practiced remembering everyones voice and gait, instead of stewing over the fact that I couldnt remember their faces. Its a great model for how to operate with any weakness. Its an extreme example of not focusing on fixing a weakness but compensating with strengths. If you say, Im disappointed that I have this weakness. I wish I were born differently, then theres nothing you can do to see things more optimistically. But if you say, There are pluses and minuses to this situation, and I do get to have a different perspective on the world that is interesting, then there is room not to live with such regret. Focusing on how to overcome a problem, instead of focusing on the problem itself, is a healthy thing to do, of course, but its nice to know that theres research to back this up. Thinking about how I compensated for faceblindness gives me confidence that I could do that for other skills where I am aware of a weakness.
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